Adnan Farooqui

Blogging is most definitely one of the passions that I am crazy about, and whenever I buy a new device, ease of blogging is something that I look for as it is my first and foremost priority.

I discovered posterous about a year back and was immediately hooked to it because it was surprisingly easy to use, long story short, I loved it and I still do ! Well atleast for personal blogging through Which i rant and rave, for pro blogging Wordpress is hands down, the king.

So anyway, day before yesterday I was fortunate enough to be able to buy an iPod touch 4g, and man is this thing slim! Although I do have to make a confession and that is that this is my first Apple device and I literally am loving it. I still am trying to get use to the on screen keyboard due to which I am making a lot of typing errors, and the autocorrect is turning out to be a pain in the as, however putting my incompetency aside, I love this thing!

So now I've found the posterous app for iOS, and he funny thing now is that I will be posting shit up on this blog whenever I want to because the app makes it so much easier to do so!

Adnan.

This is totally true. I blogged about this earlier, its amazing to see how these companies and cons try to weave their way out of grilling by such statements!

I am continually in anthropological awe at large organizations and the people who work there. Today's example: This bit of opacity from a Yahoo spokesthingie in response to a NYT reporter asking whether Yahoo could confirm rumored plans to shut down the popular Delicious service, among other things:

These are the essentials of flirting. Must read.

"Shall I compare thee to a Summer's day?," asked Shakespeare. Now, women of the world have replied: "No, just tell me I have beautiful lips."

A new survey of online flirting by dating website Badoo.com has found that the best Internet chat-up line for men to use is: "You have beautiful lips."

"We have found the Holy Grail of flirting," said Badoo Director of Marketing Lloyd Price.

The site, which boasts 87 million registered users worldwide, analysed the success rates of opening lines from nearly 200,000 online flirtations in 11 languages over the course of one month to come up with a "Compliment Success Index."

Site users were invited to use one of 12 different chat-up lines. Each complimented an aspect of a woman's body or appearance. Researchers measured the success rate of each line in two ways: first, their success at prompting any response at all; second, their success at launching a longer conversation -- one going back and forth at least four times.

Complimenting a woman's lips was the most successful overall, but other lines worked best in particular countries.

American, French, Italian or Brazilian women were more responsive to "You dress beautifully." Brits preferred praise for their legs, Spaniards responded to compliments about their hair, while Germans and Canadians preferred skin praise. Dutch and Portuguese women liked: "You have beautiful ears."

Jo Hemmings, a British behavioural psychologist said women responded best to compliments about their lips because it's a bold approach that seems more personal.

"What many women want is for men to take the initiative and not be wishy-washy," Hemmings said in a statement accompanying the survey. "A lot of men on dating sites send a sort of generic message and women recognize something that hasn't been customised for them."

David Givens, American author of the book, "Love Signals: A Practical Field Guide to the Body Language of Courtship" said the results made sense because women focus a lot of attention on their lips.

"From adolescence onwards, they cosmetically adorn their lips, applying lipstick and colours. They have been doing so since ancient Egypt."

Source: http://us.mobile.reuters.com/article/oddlyEnoughNews/idUSTRE6BD3DC20101214
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I can totally related to this. Whenever somebody says this word in front of me, I just flip out and get my ninja on to kick some ass!

NEW YORK (Reuters) - Whatever you think about using grating words, at the end of the day it's actually better not to say whatever, if you know what I mean.

http://us.mobile.reuters.com/article/oddlyEnoughNews/idUSTRE6BE5TL20101215?fe...

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Well, here I am again, in the departure lounge of the Allama Iqbal International Airport, Lahore. Its the same procedures, the same security checks, the same formalities etc etc... However sometimes there are incidents which make these highly boring trips, one to remember.

Someone tweeted me this pic while we were hving discussions about not studying and wasting time on Twitter even when we've an exam due tomorrow. It goes without saying, this picture is truly hilarious and its not just me, i know most of you will definitely be able to relate to this picture.

So without further ado, here it is!

 

See what i mean? :p

 

Adnan.

 

Photo courtesy of Haris Nadeem.

What a drastically dramatic, chaotic, hectic and rather irritating two days it has been. Its a story of confused, infatuated university students, who seek my advise in matters relating to their hearts.

So what exactly is the story here?

A Case study on wedding Decisions (Average 30 yrs)

COST:

200,000 Marriage Expenses

15,000 Monthly expenditure

3,000 Wife's monthly maintenance

RETURNS: SEX

First 5yrs Weekly 3 Times

Next 5 yrs Weekly 1 Time

Next 10yrs Once in 15 days

Next 10yrs Once in a month

Meaning

1400 times sex in 30years for an estimated expenditure of a whooping 6,680,000 + Opportunity cost of 200,000 spent on wedding at 7% for 30 years as per current Post -tax Fixed Deposit Interest rate 2,984,890

=9,964,890

CALCULATIONS

A Man spends 7120 for each time he has sex with his Wife

CONCLUSION:

Outsourcing is cheaper! :p
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BOSTON - Cancer patients, brace yourselves. Many new drug treatments cost nearly $100,000 a year, sparking fresh debate about how much a few months more of life is worth.

The latest is Provenge, a first-of-a-kind therapy approved in April. It costs $93,000 and adds four months' survival, on average, for men with incurable prostate tumors. Bob Svensson is honest about why he got it: insurance paid.

"I would not spend that money," because the benefit doesn't seem worth it, says Svensson, 80, a former corporate finance officer from Bedford, Mass.

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-----Original Message-----
From: Rehan Ahmed
Date: Fri, 24 Sep 2010 17:04:23 To:
Subject: FW: FW Dua

 

If I were a member of the parliament.

Being a Parliamentarian is not merely a perk of being in power, its not about having front row seats to the political drama that takes place every single day in the Parliament and its not about maintaining your face value, as a "respectable" Parliamentarian. What I aim to achieve in the next few paragraphs, is that I shall try to explain to the best of abilities, the righteous duties of a Parliamentarian, and of course, logically linking to the topic as to what I can do, if I were a member of the Parliament.

By colonizing the West Bank and depriving Palestinians of basic rights, Israel has made a two-state solution impossible. Israel's ambassador to the U.S., Michael B. Oren, argues in his Sept. 15 Times Op-Ed article that Israelis want peace, and I believe him. They've said so often enough. But the Israelis want lots of other things too. Read more : http://link.latimes.com/r/P7B0FH/S77GG/0EA4EE/327IR/NJGHTU/PJ/h
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Just made my bed, its more of a charpayi actually.
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Written on my Blackberry, En-route to Lahore at 35000 feet. Staring out the window in a rather pensive mood, I let me gaze linger about the horizon, pleased with the disposition, as it is, un-defyingly endless. Today has been a totally chaotic day. With less then 3 hours to spare, I woke up, rather was woken up today only to find that I had packed absolutely NOTHING. It isn't like I was going for a vacation, I was returning to my hostel for about 2 months, maybe more. I hadn't picked out the clothes that I was supposed to take along, hell I hadn't even picked out the clothes I was supposed to wear to the airport. Anyway, in purely chaotic disarray, the packing was completed and the cases locked and loaded in the car. I reached the airport, with only 45 minutes to spare. I went through the security check quickly, feeling relieved as it wasn't crowded, but what did I know fate had a nasty surprise planned out for me. Just as I turned to head towards the check in counters, my jaw literally dropped in astonishment. Swear words started flying out as I saw hundreds of heads badgering ignorant PIA staff at those counters. I was damn sure that I was going to miss my flight. Anyhow, in the nick of time, I made it to the check in counter, went through all of the processes and finally sat down in the plane. Even though I was hungry like shit, PIA just served me a very tiny sandwich and ice-cream. That's the service we get for exorbitant rates that are whisked out of our pockets. Nevertheless, I'm on my way to Lahore, hope the weather is okay down there, and hope and pray to Allah that I finally get able to study. Sent from my BlackBerry® Smartphone provided by Ufone

Lionel Richie - My Endless Love. This has to be the pinnacle of all love songs. Love, let's define love. Attraction? Affection? Inclination? - bullshit. Ever try seeing the "other" side of this phenomena? What about the broken hearts? The hurt feelings? The bad memories? Who accounts for them?

Questions right? A lot of them. Let's see who has the answers. Sent from my BlackBerry® Smartphone provided by Ufone

Ai'te people! After over 4 months of lazying around and doing stupid things in this awesome city of Karachi, I finally bid you all farewell, as I sit on the uncomfortable PIA seat inside the place. Adios Amigos!

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Well Ladies and Gentlemen, I hope you guys enjoyed this little "broadcast" of jokes. They've been synced with blogspot and wordpress as well. Stay cool and stay smiling.
One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of Chicken Little to her class. She came to the part of the story where Chicken Little tried to warn the farmer. She read, ".. and so Chicken Little went up to the farmer and said, "The sky is falling, the sky is falling!" The teacher paused then asked the class, "And what do you think that farmer said?" One little girl raised her hand and said, "I think he said: 'Holy Shit! A talking chicken!'" The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.
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5. It was that time, during the Sunday morning service, for the children's sermon. All the children were invited to come forward. One little girl was wearing a particularly pretty dress and, as she sat down, the pastor leaned over and said, "That is a very pretty dress. Is it your Easter Dress?" The little girl replied, directly into the pastor's clip-on microphone, "Yes, and my Mom says it's a bitch to iron."
6. When I was six months pregnant with my third child, my three year old came into the room when I was just getting ready to get into the shower. She said, "Mommy, you are getting fat!" I replied, "Yes, honey, remember Mommy has a baby growing in her tummy." "I know," she replied, but what's growing in your butt?"
7. A little boy was doing his math homework. He said to himself, "Two plus five, that son of a bitch is seven. Three plus six, that son of a bitch is nine.." His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, "What are you doing?" The little boy answered, "I'm doing my math homework, Mom." "And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?" the mother asked. "Yes," he answered. Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the next day, "What are you teaching my son in math?" The teacher replied, "Right now, we are learning addition." The mother asked, "And are you teaching them to say two plus two, that son of a bitch is four?" After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered, "What I taught them was, two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four."
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1. A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he'd found a cat, but it was dead. "How do you know that the cat was dead?" she asked her pupil. "Because I pissed in its ear and it didn't move," answered the child innocently. "You did WHAT?!" the teacher exclaimed in surprise. "You know,"explained the boy, "I leaned over and went 'Pssst!' and it didn't move."
2. A small boy is sent to bed by his father. Five minutes later... "Da-ad.." "What?" "I'm thirsty. Can you bring drink of water?" "No, You had your chance. Lights out." Five minutes later: "Da-aaaad..." "WHAT?" "I'm THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water??" I told you NO! If you ask again, I'll have to spank you!!" Five minutes later.. "Daaaa-aaaad..." "WHAT!" "When you come in to spank me, can you bring a drink of water?"
3. An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief, finally asked him "How do you expect to get into Heaven?" The boy thought it over and said, "Well, I'll run in and out and in and out and keep slamming the door until St. Peter says, 'For Heaven's sake, Dylan, come in or stay out!'"
4. One summear evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her son into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, "Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?" The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. "I can't dear," she said. "I have to sleep in Daddy's room." A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice: "The big sissy."

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1. A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he'd found a cat, but it was dead. "How do you know that the cat was dead?" she asked her pupil. "Because I pissed in its ear and it didn't move," answered the child innocently. "You did WHAT?!" the teacher exclaimed in surprise. "You know,"explained the boy, "I leaned over and went 'Pssst!' and it didn't move."
2. A small boy is sent to bed by his father. Five minutes later... "Da-ad.." "What?" "I'm thirsty. Can you bring drink of water?" "No, You had your chance. Lights out." Five minutes later: "Da-aaaad..." "WHAT?" "I'm THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water??" I told you NO! If you ask again, I'll have to spank you!!" Five minutes later.. "Daaaa-aaaad..." "WHAT!" "When you come in to spank me, can you bring a drink of water?"
3. An exasperated mother, whose son was always getting into mischief, finally asked him "How do you expect to get into Heaven?" The boy thought it over and said, "Well, I'll run in and out and in and out and keep slamming the door until St. Peter says, 'For Heaven's sake, Dylan, come in or stay out!'"
4. One summear evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her son into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice, "Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?" The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug. "I can't dear," she said. "I have to sleep in Daddy's room." A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice: "The big sissy."

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1. A certain little girl, when asked her name, would reply, "I'm Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter." Her mother told her this was wrong, she must say, "I'm Jane Sugarbrown." The Vicar spoke to her in Sunday School, and said, "Aren't you Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter?" She replied, "I thought I was, but mother says I'm not."
2. A little girl asked her mother, "Can I go outside and play with the boys?" Her mother replied, "No, you can't play with the boys, they're too rough." The little girl thought about it for a few moments and asked, "If I can find a smooth one, can I play with him?"
3. A little girl goes to the barber shop with her father. She stands next to the barber chair, while her dad gets his hair cut, eating a snack cake. The barber says to her, "Sweetheart, you're gonna get hair on your Twinkie." She says, "Yes, I know, and I'm gonna get boobs too."

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2 sardar were fixing a bomb in a car.
Sardar 1: What would you do if the bomb
explodes while fixing.
Sardar 2: Dont worry, I have one more.

Boss: Where were you born?
Sardar: India..
Boss: which part?
Sardar: What 'which part'? Whole body was born in India..

Sardar: What is the name of your car?
Lady: I forgot the name, but is starts with 'T'.
Sardar: Oh, what a strange car, starts with Tea. All cars that I know start with petrol.

Sardar joined new job. 1st day he worked till late evening on the computer. Boss was happy and asked what you did till evening.
Sardar: Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it alright.

Museum Administrator: That's a 500-year-old statue u've broken.
Sardar: Thanks God! I thought it was a new one.

At the scene of an accident a man was crying: O God! I have lost my hand, oh!
Sardar: Control yourself. Don't cry. See that man. He has lost his head. Is he crying?

Sardar: U cheated me.
Shopkeeper: No, I sold a good radio to u.
Sardar: Radio label shows Made in Japan but radio says this is 'All India Radio! '

NOW THE LAST TWO ULTIMATE:
In an interview, Interviewer: How does an electric motor run?
Sardar: Dhhuuuurrrrrrrrrr. .....
Inteviewer shouts: Stop it.
Sardar: Dhhuurrrr dhup dhup dhup...

Tourist: Whose skeleton is that?
Sardar: An old king's skeleton..
Tourist: Who's that smaller skeleton next to it?
Sardar: That was same king's skeleton when he was a child.

A sardar appearing in medical entrance test gives definitions as follows:

Antibody: against everbody

Artery: study of fine paintings

Genes: blue denim

Labor Pain: hurt at work

Liposuction: French kiss

Microbes: small dressing gowns

Cardiology: advance study of playing cards

Cat Scan: searching for lost kitty

Coma: Punctuation mark

Bacteria: back door to a cafeteria !!!! Sent from my BlackBerry® Smartphone provided by Ufone

An elderly man lay dying in his bed. While

suffering

the agonies of impending death, he suddenly

smelled the aroma

of his favourite scones wafting up the

stairs.

He gathered his remaining strength, and

lifted himself

from the bed. Leaning on the wall, he slowly

made his way

out of the bedroom, and with even greater

effort, gripping the

railing with both hands, he crawled

downstairs.

With laboured breath, he leaned against the

door-frame, gazing into the kitchen. Were it

not for death's

agony, he would have thought himself already

in heaven, for

there, spread out upon the kitchen table were

literally hundreds of his favourite scones.

Was it heaven? Or was it one final act of

love from his

devoted Irish wife of sixty years, seeing to

it that he left

this world a happy man?

Mustering one great final effort, he threw

himself

towards the table, landing on his knees in

rumpled posture.

His aged and withered hand trembled towards a

scone at the

edge of the table, when it was suddenly

smacked by his wife

with a wooden spoon ......

.........

.........

Fuck off' she said, 'they're for the

funeral.'
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There was a boy whose parents were very strict in his upbringing.

They never allowed him to meet any girls, except his own relatives.

However, one day he saw one of his best friends kissing a girl and he went to his mother and asked her what they were doing.

His mother told him, "It's called kissing and any boy who does that to a girl will die that very minute!"

On his 21st birthday he went out with some friends who introduced him to one of the sweetest girls around town.

She knew that he had never been kissed before. When she eventually got some time alone with him, she tried to kiss him but he resisted.

She asked him, "What are you afraid of, it won't hurt."

He said, "My mother said if I kiss a girl I'll die this very minute!!"

She replied, "Don't be a baby, now come on kiss me." With that she gave him a hot one square across the lips.

He began to cry, "Oh no I'm going to die!!!"

She said, "Why are you going to die?"

He replied, "I've just kissed you and already one part of me has begun to get stiff!" Sent from my BlackBerry® Smartphone provided by Ufone

There was a boy whose parents were very strict in his upbringing.

They never allowed him to meet any girls, except his own relatives.

However, one day he saw one of his best friends kissing a girl and he went to his mother and asked her what they were doing.

His mother told him, "It's called kissing and any boy who does that to a girl will die that very minute!"

On his 21st birthday he went out with some friends who introduced him to one of the sweetest girls around town.

She knew that he had never been kissed before. When she eventually got some time alone with him, she tried to kiss him but he resisted.

She asked him, "What are you afraid of, it won't hurt."

He said, "My mother said if I kiss a girl I'll die this very minute!!"

She replied, "Don't be a baby, now come on kiss me." With that she gave him a hot one square across the lips.

He began to cry, "Oh no I'm going to die!!!"

She said, "Why are you going to die?"

He replied, "I've just kissed you and already one part of me has begun to get stiff!" Sent from my BlackBerry® Smartphone provided by Ufone

People!
I'm gonna post some real good jokes I dug up while I was cleaning my folder. Stay tuned. Sent from my BlackBerry® Smartphone provided by Ufone

I'm raving mad, I'm angry and I'll rip anybody's head off who tries to poke their finger in me.

Wishing the Admin and all contributors a very happy Eid Mubarak from Mexico !

Regards,
Carlos Avion Elcarmuniez
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Well ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, what do ya know! Its raining again in our beloved city of lights, Kawachee!

You've all seen and "loved" her in the Original Sin, Fire fox, Mojave Moon, you've all gaped at her moves in Wanted and now, you're probably wandering who Evelyn Salt is...

Following is a post from this blog , owned by a very nice friend of mine, Omar Farooq.

His writings, are truly and absolutely brilliant. Here is one such post, which i found to be totally enlightening. 

Without much further ado, here it is.

Following is a post from this blog , owned by a very nice friend of mine, Omar Farooq.

His writings, are truly and absolutely brilliant. Here is one such post, which i found to be totally enlightening. 

Without much further ado, here it is.

Imagine you're still a bit flimsy from the gigantic dose of anaesthesia you received, you're still drugged from something the flirty, squeaky and giggly nurse gave to you in the morning, you've been without food and water for about 12 hours, there was a tube down your mouth, so your throat is sore like shit, which means you can't swallow or gulp without having tears in your eyes, you're in the top-notch-est hospital of your city and are paying a shit-load of money for their services, you expect a nice, patient friendly meal to be presented to you once its okayed by the doctor, but woah! WTF is this?!

Yes ladies and pervs, this is what was presented today, I'm like, dude sorry but wtf? Can't you like distinguish between a patient who you operated upon for like a bajillion hours and a fat all time eating bastard? I mean come on! For crying out loud! Are you out of your fracking minds? Or maybe you need to climb back in your mothers "v-gina" and cook a little..

This is not what you serve a patient having cholesterol and hypertension issues! You're operating a hospital, hire some damn nutritionists people!

Really, its sad..

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Goods at Relief Camp for #pkfloods #HelpPakistan . #Rotary #Rotaract #Karachi http://tweetphoto.com/41546278 #Pakistan

sent via ÜberTwitter
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Ladies and Gentlemen, boys and girls, go screw yourselves. Yet again, one more time.. Life screws me over. Today was the day, after literally months of procrastination, I'd managed to start getting some work done right after sehri -which means I sacrificed my beauty sleep. Its been long since I'd stopped canoodling with Adobe Photoshop, 4 years to be exact. I started getting acquainted with it slowly and gradually when finally I started designing my business card. Work went smoothly I must say, with little to no setbacks whatsoever. I got done with the design, the logos and fonts, when finally the moment came where I had to actually write the information required. I thought, why not take a break, grab a notepad and a pencil and get creative. So using my pirate instincts, I added a movie to my bittorrent, and turned off the monitor while I doodled on the notepad. After about 30 minutes or so, I suddenly remember that I had to set up a new blog, register a domain for it and make another email I'd, as nothing has come to mind for being written, I decided to get over with all of this stuff and hopefully by then something would eventually pop into this idiot box. To my utter surprise, the monitor didn't come on. I swore, thrice, then frantically checked all the cables and connections but to no avail. Then I swore again, and went away from it. So there you have it people, the day I think of finally completing the process of launching my organization, my monitor screws up, does feel quite right, does it?

Anyway, after all this, I feel like I have space-dementia. I'll go and meditate with Yuko. Toodles. Adnan
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Aah yes, ever so nice to see such a sight, two people, drowned in depths of love, vow, till death do them part, its the beginning of a new life, the dawn of a new era as some would put it, as then two bodies, two minds and two souls, come together to live as one, till death do them part :).

One word: Coke (the one you drink)

As much as I want the contents of this glass to become some alcohol rich liquid that would somehow numb the feeling of pain that has been inflicted upon me by life in very recent times, this performs just well, though I merely take it to be purely a physcological effect. Extra chilled Coke, half a glass that is, keep twirling it around with your fingers as if you would do when at a bar, and get lost deep into the never ending valley of thoughts. Most people (read girls) grieve over ice cream, I wouldn't discourage that, though teeth ache is not my cookie. Some people would do drugs, coke, hash, crystal meth, marijuana etc etc.. Many just smoke, my personal favourite being Marlboro Lights, totally love that packet!

So anyway, this is my personal remedy of beating loneliness and pain, though this is a perfect potion for slow death, keeping the acidity of Coke in mind. So cheer up my screwed up just like me friends, whenever life screws you, relax, open up a bottle of Coke and pour yourself some.. Sure to make you last the night alone :)

Adnan
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Sort of a favourite pass time of mine.. I'm still an amateur though. Check them out, feel free to share :)

There are certain things in life that touch the heart. It may be the gentle smile of a little child, it may be the affection of the elderly or the touch of a mother. But most importantly....