Adnan Farooqui

So, its 12:41 a.m. in the night, I’m bearing migraine, looking at this blank sheet of Word, not having the slightest idea about what am I going to write about, my blackberry keeps buzzing with emails from a loved one, I’m glad I switched to a blackberry Smartphone, my life has been so much easier after this, though a bit hard on the pocket since I have BIS active on it but nonetheless worth it, it keeps me connected round the clock to the person that matters the most, kudos to RIM for making such a phenomenal phone.


So basically these days I’m following the regular routine, wake up early in the morning, send some (read a lot) of emails, then have something to eat, watch some TV, bear an hour of load shedding, then write some more emails, then take a shower, then write a few more emails, attach some pictures along with, go for a drive, maybe have a drink(S) (extra chilled coke that is), wait for replies to my emails then send some more emails, bear another hour of load shedding, go hang out with a friend, come back only to send some more emails till like 4 in the night, watch some TV and finally pass out sometime in the morning which being totally immersed in thought. Nothing extraordinary or entertaining to look forward to in these vacations. *BAH*


My iPod touch died today, may its processor rest in peace. Ladies and Gentlemen, that was one solid case of betrayal, I mean I can’t tell you how much I loved it, whenever it needed a new case, I used to buy it for it, I never dropped it on purpose, I always used to give it juice (read charge) whenever it needed it, sometimes I just kept it on charge so that it maybe properly fed! Damn I even bought a Nano to keep it company! But damn that sorry piece of engineering, it just decided to leave me in this cold harsh music-less world alone on my own, (the Nano is long gone too).


True that I can listen to my favourite tunes on my Blackberry, or in my car, but come on, an iPod is an iPod, plus I could surf the web courtesy of wi-fi while enjoying the music! Yes my Blackberry can do that as well but its bulky man! (and now I get the feeling that my BB, which is getting charged through my laptop as I write, is not going to take this the right way, I hope it doesn’t die on me too! Eeeek!) Jealousy is a very bad thing Mr. Blackberry! (Lets just keep it between us, the BB’s battery drains too quickly)


Plus its really not a good time for your iPod to die when you’re not allowed to buy a new one, infact this just might be one of the most ugliest of all times for a fucktarded iPod to die out, and no i won’t stop cursing that asshat of a music player for what it did to me!


So now, I wait for it to rain iPod, so that I may catch one, (yes only one, you can catch the rest and sell ‘em off to a pathan in the saddar elektraanik market)


P.S. For those of you who’re wondering how my iTouch died, it got washed with my jeans in the washing machine. Hehehe :p


Farooqu|

Its 5:24 A.M, slowing tunes playing in the background, just finished watching superbad (Seth Rogen's ugliness is oddly fascinating btw) and lamenting over the fact that I have to devote time to my studies too as the biology book stares back at me and says dude, when the fuck will you actually give time to our relationship? (I'm just deciphering what it said to me in book language), Studying is something which should be my prime concern at the moment, but we all are the masters of our fate eh? The self acclaimed kings of the world, the most intelligent of them all and whatever the fuck not, some common beliefs, or rather excuses to cover laziness I presume (to which I've grown quite fond to), are just …….. orgasmic

All right ladies and gentlemen, the motion before the house today is that this house believes that we can make sense out of whatever the fuck that's been written here…… Yeah like that's happening! (author rolls eyes)

Coming down to more pressing issues (no, there's no sexual context to this word), What I've tried to always do, is to somehow bend time to my will, to find some way in which I could stop wasting time and that time starts wasting me (literally), but this just doesn't happen, in any possible way, even if I place fullstops here. Here. And even here. Time just doesn't wait, not for me, not for you and certainly not for any goody two shoe asshole. So that just got me thinking (that's usual, don't give me that look) what if I just try to not be lazy? Yaaay! I have found the holy grail to becoming an intelligent douchebag with a 9 to 5 job aallaadaa fuckin' daaah!

Then ladies, after this startling discovery of mine, I turn on the news, I see people protesting violently against loadshedding and I hear the authorities say that everything is going to be okay, (no fucking idea when), I see victims of a brutal act of terrorism and again I hear the authorities say that everthing is going to be okay (yeah, like you can bring those lives back you morons), I see the common man dying of hunger and I hear the authorities say that everything is going to be okay (yes, we all saw you eating like pigs in that big fucking hotel), I see the chains of poverty, illiteracy, unemployment, thirst, hunger and desolation suffocate a meager man and yet again I hear the authorities say that everything is going to be okay (who the hell are you trying to hoodwink anyway?) and then It just dawned upon me, when this simple sentence can be used after we rationally substantiate all of the problems that we (read, common man) face in the harsh world of today, why can't I just manipulate the implication of this very sentence to cater to my vested interests? Tricky eh?

So the next time anybody bites your ass for something you wouldn't like to do at that moment, tell 'em everything's gonna be okay (hell, the authorities do that all the time!), even if it screws up your whole life (well that's just for you to decide) So, sit back, relax and enjoy the pleasures that this single sentence can bring you. You might just light up your favorite smoke while you're at it.

I stand alone
In search of someone
Loving and caring,
Who has a promise
To stay with me forever.
I have experienced
A lot of heartaches
And I've lost someone
Who was so dear to me.
There was a time when i used to see
Love in your eyes,
The love, which was wise
True and pure
But I was mistaken,
For it was not meant for me,
But for someone else.
All my hopes were dashed,
My life became dark,
Leaving a deep mark
Of sorrow and pain.
My heart stopped beating,
But i did not cry,
Because i realized that
It was not you....
Who loved me
But it was I who loved you.


Farooqu|

Often! We use these words “like and love” in lieu of our expression as say; therefore to convey our feel with respect to the one, whom we are involved or attached emotionally, psychologically or sensitively.
What are these terms, liking, and loving?
Are they synonymous or have their own domain of explanation as mean, though are extensively in our daily impression of expression as interest; or are they in real means variant specie as word with vast denomination in vocabulary of definition.
In my opinion these phrases have diversified dominion.
“Like” is a term that takes off its plight from theme as desire.
It has an attitude that encompasses senses as feel.
It’s a craving dire as desire that weighs things on comparative caliper thus; sorting it in to preference as priority.
This verb as adjective relies completely on feel as perception and is an interpreted and integrated phenomenon of pleasing sensation awarding transient euphoria.
This verb has soothing effect that console mind but immediately vanishes when similar desire with more dominant effect overcome thus perishing the crave by new miscellaneous.
It is a superficial feel with no emotional attachment but; with psychological belief as congruent of console.
Where as on the other hand! Love is an undefined phase of emotional derangement, which completely take over psychological behavior as; reaction, mood, sensation and integrated perception.
It is an undeclared fate as compulsive destiny that routes feeling through the depth of heart without the element of integrated belief as logic.
It is a state of mind which paralyzes senses and takes over rule and reign of perception via a new module of concealed power of heart as autonomy.
This powerful impulsive force has no limits of sight and boundaries as dominion rather it pursues its course through the spectra of self sacrifice for an unknown cause; you may call love.
This is a faith in one’s own thought that pulls individuals mind and soul as possession or preoccupation.
It’s an undeclared war against own thinking mechanic thereby give-up by surrendering even before footing in to the ground hence; announcing the bugle of war as submission.
It is the only legitimate action of human errorless transgression of mind that award its own worthy function of interpretation  to heart as compassion; thereby obeying the same recessive command as interpretation;  vide the melodious signals’ of its beat.
In my opinion; it is the story of submission of will, velocity and thrill in lieu of obsession as passion so to sacrifice sign, signature and soul; in reward and award as honor, of this undefined verb as “love or lunacy”.
“This is very much easy rather within own domain to sort our love as passion.
In my opinion: Simply disregard what you like and you would feel the depth and essence of real love.
Real love lies far behind your integrated feel as perception.
It takes off from crave till its final static flight as completely lunatic under obsession as passion hence handicapped.”

 SOURCE


Farooqu|

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Love is a choice, being asked to submit a case study on the topic; I decided to do some research and try to figure out at what exactly I was working at.




The title is based on a paper back book by authors Dr. Robert Hemfelt, Dr. Frank Minirth and Paul Meier M.D. Having valiantly flipped through the book, I found some enlisted cases to be quite intriguing. The book basically focuses on letting go of unhealthy relationships, be it marriage, relationships, intimate and physical relationships and also cons of codependent relationships.



Why I seem to seem to differ from the authors is that letting go or giving up is not always an option that might yield you the results that you require. In my perspective, letting go is actually acclaiming the fact that you can not cope up with a certain obstacle that life may have hurled in your way and so you tend to give up. In the case of relationships, which are serious for both the partners, sometimes issues and differences evolve, it is only natural, but that does not necessarily mean that you resolve on parting ways.



Although that I must say that I approved of the title, which eventually was made the topic of my study, that yes, love is definitely a choice, although, for some.



In the book I found three cases worthy of proper attention, in the start a case of unhappy marriage is mentioned, where both of the participants are having a hard time living together with each other and see divorce as the only way out. One partner observes, although sarcastically, that death for the other would have please him the most. One such is the case where endings, though how bad they might have to be, are inevitable.



The second case gives us the insight into the bad beginnings of two people, scathed by poverty, but determination leads them into more bountiful endings. The case is not about two people in marriage, it is about their offspring who acquires a raging desire for sexual please, comes close to bringing his matrimonial life to a bad end but does not pay heed to the advice of his parents, naturally the parents get worried about the well-being of their offspring.



The third case, needless to say intrigued me the most, expressed the story of one such individual who did not pay heed to the want of love in one’s life, though having everything a man of conscience could demand for, but solitude had taken its toll on his life. The person had suffered the loss of his mother at an early age, his father, though as rich and aristocratic as one can be, termed him the cause for the series of unfortunate events and banished him under virtue of boarding and apprenticeships. The person comes to the clinic, though half heartedly, not knowing why he was wasting his time to go under treatment when he considered himself not needing any. When asked why did he prefer solitude and did not consider love to be a part of his life he rages and exits the room.



They say no matter how solitude loving a man can get, no matter how he tries to defy the auras of love, there comes a time in his life when he just wants to relax after a day’s long work; he just wants to come home to a hot supper waiting at the table, he wants to relax in his cozy chair while a pair of loving hands hand him a mug of his favorite brand of coffee, he wants to be controlled by a pair of those loving hands, who would not hear a word of resentment and lead him towards the four poster, engulfing him into the fiery depths of passion for the one, forcing his soul to meet his lifeless body as he indulges in the act, which sends cold and frigid shivers of ecstasy up his spine, he would love to be received by wide open arms after when he relives, say he would want to lie in those arms and watch the night slowly fade away.



This is the case with most men, a handsomely paying job, a quiet and discrete life and someone to consummate with. Needless to say that this is been a norm of the world for many centuries and will continue to be for as long as this universe is intact. I ask the question, is it impossible to life a quite life on your own? Is it necessary to have someone who would lovingly gnaw at your earlobes? Is it mandatory to cherish each smile hurled at you, each approving smile that would make your heart rapidly beat, commanding you to throw yourself into pleasure?



I think no, none of this actually completes a man, what does is his own determination, the one weakness that man faces is the opposite sex, which brings him down to such extent that he loses aim; he becomes weak and only thinks of him plus that special someone.



Love is a choice, it can not be forced and it can not be endured when it is forced. Love is a feeling not a commandment. Love is an expression not a constitution. Love is life but not the elixir. Love is a question not the answer. Love is excitement, love is pleasure, love is enchanting, love is undying but it is not the reason. Love is death and the reason for a life worse than death.



Affection and inclination, to me, is one of the basic ground rules of love. It can not be induced, it can although be grown. Hast decisions in these matters always, I must endorse this point, always, leads to confrontations and complications. I give a medieval example for this matter:



In 1814, Jane Austen wrote a letter to her niece, Fanny Knight, who had asked for advice about a serious relationship, telling her that "having written so much on one side of the question, I shall now turn around; entreat you not to commit yourself farther, not to think of accepting him unless you really do like him. Anything is to be preferred or endured rather than marrying without Affection".



Jane Austen, a popular novel wright of the eighteenth century, has impeccably and inquisitively expressed the whole dilemma in a nutshell. “Anything is to be preferred or endured rather than marrying without Affection” I completely and fully endorse this statement. If one is to love, it has to be whole heartedly, it can not be just for the sake of passing ones time, it can not be the result of entering your twilight years, yet it has to be that sentiment, it has to be that emotion, which strikes you at whatever age at life, be it maturity or adolescence, it has to have such possessive strength, such scent, such aura, which engulfs the person from head to foot in a burning sensation, one that is enough to make him endure the toughest of situations throughout all his life whether he has to do it alone.



For those who succumbed to the hostilities of love, love is unquestionably a choice. It is not impossible to live only with the memories and thoughts of the one loved, rather than finding someone else just to momentarily stop the bruises from pain any further. For one true lover, one such thought is enough to stop him from loving someone else, when he pictures being passionate with someone else while the thought of the one he originally loved and will never cease to love looms in front of his eyes, it is not only doing injustice to the other person, but it is actually acclaiming your own defeat, your own defeat at losing someone and then trying to compensate for the damage by playing with someone else’s life. It is not mandatory to do such a thing, for love is a choice.






Farooqu|